Many people don’t notice the way we constantly put ourselves down. Maybe we’ll joke about it, playing our insecurities off like it means nothing to us. I sometimes this, everyone does this now and then. I suppose if someone says something bad about you, our first reaction is to cower and agree with them, laughing it off, even though maybe it actually hurts. Then we’ll go home and wonder why we had to be so bloody stupid/ugly/embarrassing… the list goes on.
We’re not any of those things, whether we believe or not. But does that stop us from letting these thoughts haunt us? No, it doesn’t.
Just a note before I start; I am in no way an expert. This is just what I believe will help based on experience and nothing more. So I’ve put together a list of simple ways that you will learn to love yourself, inside and out.
1. Be yourself. Understand what you are, not what you think you are. Accept your flaws, but equally accept your talents. Love who you actually are, not who you are pretending to be.
2. Stop comparing yourself to the type of person you wish you were. You’re more beautiful the way you are now and you can’t change yourself.
3. Journal, blog, do something to write down your thoughts instead of locking everything inside a box and hiding it. Getting it out in some way or another will help.
4. Don’t put yourself down, even if it is a joke. If you do, you will slowly start to believe it’s true, which it isn’t.
5. Forgive. Don’t worry or get angry about something you can’t control. Forgive people and don’t hold grudges; accept it and move on from it, it happened and it’s in the past.
6. Every cloud has a silver lining. Find it, find another. Every failure has its perks. If you find it, you’ll pick yourself up and be even better next time around.
7. Smile more. At anyone; strangers, friends, colleagues. Spread your happiness, smiles are infectious!
8. Hold your head high. You are just as powerful as any other human being. Own it.
9. Meditate. This will make your life calmer and less stressful.
10. Find something you enjoy doing; a hobby. Something that’s your ‘escape’. Do something you love every day.
11. Be OK with not being OK.
12. Tell yourself positive thoughts. Anything from my hair looks good today to I’m proud of this achievement. The more you say it, the more you will believe it. After all, it’s true.
13. Nothing but you defines you. If you choose to be small, people will look at you as small. Decide to be happy and people will see you as happy.
14. Spend time with people who make you happy and feel good about yourself, not those who make you feel like crap.
15. Also take some time alone, to reflect, to wind out, to de-stress. Spend time with yourself to learn to be OK with how you are.
16. Have fun, dance, sing, shout, whether you look like a madman or not. Chances are, the person who thinks you’re mad isn’t having any fun themselves.
17. Voice your thoughts. Tell people if you’re not okay with something or if they are bothering you.
18. Be grateful with what you’re given and forget what you want. Make the most of what you already have.
19. Go outside, be with nature, go for a run. Just get outdoors. Not because you think you’re fat - you’re not - but because it motivates you and clears your mind.
20. Set small goals for yourself and be open-minded. Go step-by-step, trying to achieve something big all at once will most likely not work. Pace yourself, be patient with yourself.
I hope this has provoked new realizations about yourself, or if you’re struggling with loving yourself you will take my tips into account. Don’t worry about being unlovable. Being loved begins with loving yourself. You may not see it, but someone else does. Find the beauty in yourself - I promise it exists. Just be yourself.
I love myself, from my flaws to my talents, and this advice helped me get to where I am today. I still have insecurities, no one doesn’t, but I’m OK with that because I know that no one is perfect. I love me for who I am, not who I wish I was or think I am.
Love,
Niamh x
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